shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
