where am i from again
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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