just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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