he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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