I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
