i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
