we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There's always time for handjobs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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