They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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