haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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