So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
