i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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