sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
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did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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