I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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