It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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