I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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