NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just had sex bonerless
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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