Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
