maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
