I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
