i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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