I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
