I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
