look no pants
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
