talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
