If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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