After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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