This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
