stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Panties = found
Randomize
