He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize