As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
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I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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