Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize