Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
