I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
