Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
