Umm I'm too high to move.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
