So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
