I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
