Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
