Sponge bath it is.
My liver just broke up with me...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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