We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
