I want to stick my p in your. b.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
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Did you just see the Batmobile???
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
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you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!