Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS