it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
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he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
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I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.