I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
