so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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