No awkward lesbian experiences without me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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