Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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