Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
