I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
