how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
