I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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