Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
