Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's always time for handjobs
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
