I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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