If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
