your thong is hanging out like whoa
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
