At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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