marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
