So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
