i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize