I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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