East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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