Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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